Poetry

It was nothing

It was nothing but the sound of rain

The blow of the wind

The shine on his face from the moonlight

And the feeling of lust pressed against my lips

-Barbara Gonzales

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barbsmoni:

Little Voices

Director/Screenwriter: Barbara Gonzales

A story of two kids who become friends within a circle of abuse. Jennifer abused by her father. Damon mentally abused by a bully. Together they escape it all.

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Feel The Pressure

Clock ticking

Heart racing

Time flying

Pressure building

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Detroit

I hate how people portray Detroit, especially those who live here.

Yeah, okay. Detroit isn’t the nicest place. It isn’t a vacation spot and yeah it isn’t the safest. But Not all detroit is horrible.

There’s more to Detroit than abandoned buildings, crime, and so forth. There is a lot hidden in Detroit than what the media tells you.

There’s photographers, filmmakers, dancers, singers, rapers, writers, future lawyers, teachers, sport stars, maybe even a future president. Just like everywhere else in the world, there is a lot of potential hidden deep inside.

Never underestimate the underdog, don’t judge a book by its cover.

The exterior can look rough, but the interior can beautiful.

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Happy Mess

She is such a happy mess

No time for rest

Beginning to smile less and less

All her stress

Building up, creating nothing but a big mess

No sleep

High off caffeine

Lungs full of nicotine

But she refuses to make a peep

Running away from reality

Hiding in her movie fantasies

Reading into all the happy endings

Knowing it’s written oh so artificially

Creating her own art

Expressing everything that is in her heart

The criticism is bitterly tart

Accepting her fails

Expecting to one day to tell her tale

She is such a happy mess

Not willing to rest

Until she earns her success

-Barbara Gonzales

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HOW TO BE A BETTER (HAPPIER AND HEALTHIER) HUMAN BEING:

never touch anything with half a heart, be present, endlessly loving and compassionate towards others, confront any challenging situation first with a deep breath, never hold a grudge, don’t be angry at someone for not wanting the same as you, remember your own happiness and comfort comes above all things, before reacting—understand, eat breakfast every morning, spoil yourself, remember what is important to you, take things at your own pace, know that something’s are worth fixing, forgive, stop over thinking, know that second chances don’t always exist, remember that no one and nothing is perfect, read in-between the lines—but don’t dwell on it, treat your body kindly, be honest, get to know yourself, never assume, take chances, don’t let your fears stop you, keep in mind that everyone will (in one point in time) hurt you, don’t feel embarrassed to feel, laugh, cry, sing or love, try new things, if you want something go get it (don’t make excuses), remember that what’s right for someone else may not be right for you (and that’s okay), know that its okay to give up, never be ashamed or afraid to ask for help, don’t be afraid to make an honest mistake, do what you love, and remember that you always have a choice, find joy in what life really is—living.

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From The Inside

Happy from the outside,

A smile on her face because of the sunlight

She looks so full life

Living in her own bitter strife

But every night, in her eyes

You see the rain that’s pushed behind

Until the morning sunlight,

Her heart aches, alone and confined

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We all have those moments where we can’t help but think, think about the things that has happened, things that are going to happen and things we wish would happen.

We think about about things we did, things we will do and the things we wish to do.

We think about the mistakes we made and about the things we could’ve, should’ve, would’ve done.

We think about how it all fell about and about the things we could’ve done to change the outcome, to fix the problem, to makes things go a different direction.

We start to think about the ways we messed up, the things we did that screwed everything up, we think of ways to blame ourselves instead of those who were also there, those who were apart if it all, those who have just as much fault if not all.

We think about the hurt we felt and the pain we continue to feel. We blame ourselves and put ourselves down thinking we don’t deserve better or we would never get better.

We fantasize about how we wish things went a different turn, but coming back to reality, the hurt, the sadness and the heartbreak seems 10 times worse.

But instead of thinking about the pain, thinking about the actions that were made, the words that were said, we push it as back in our minds as we could and fill it with work, friends, music, anything to distract us, because thinking only makes it worse.

We smile, we laugh, we joke.

We act how we are “supposed” to act but really, deep down inside, we are holding in how we truly feel but cannot say anything.

We don’t say anything because we don’t want to seem weak, vulnerable, stupid and we don’t want others to feel sorry for us.

We hope to maybe forget those moments, those memories, those words, those action. We hope to forget those feeling and how it all felt.

So we do what we used to do, as if nothing ever happened, as if it never existed, as if it never hurt, as if it doesn’t bother us.

Its a matter of letting go and moving on. Although it sucks, its better than sitting around waiting for the possibility, waiting for what could, if we really want…or wanted something, why not grab it while it there than to wait till its gone and no longer in reach…

I’m not the one in loss here…just think about it…

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